


breathing in isolation

by wendigone



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Magic, Original Characters - Freeform, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-10
Updated: 2017-02-10
Packaged: 2018-09-23 06:42:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9644861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wendigone/pseuds/wendigone
Summary: oneshot ft. the heirs of norway and denmark for the most part. some other characters.part of the series: heir to the throne by jostenia.





	

**Author's Note:**

> hi i wrote this in three days and didn't edit it because honestly?? i am trash.
> 
> leif's the main pov, the first heir of norway that's been ill for as long as he can remember. absolute genius with magic. he's actually far more problematic than this.
> 
> the other characters are p much explained throughout.

as a nation, you're prepared for the end. you know the inevitable.

a child. one unlike humans- strong. durable. speaking the language you do, knowing the world holds no remorse. no mercy. no forewarning.

finding a child meant your time neared its finale.

and, for one, he refused to let the world recognize his time was almost up.

for him- lukas- he wouldn't give it up. no one needed to know.

no one needed to see a child that looked like him.

 

* * *

 

 

a journey through the islands of svalbard- this marked the place he found leif. a child, seeming no older than six years, venturing among the snowy landscape, chasing fairies and gremlins in a flurry.

rumors of a babe in the wilderness spread through the small towns and villages, though the one leading him to the kid were the otherworldly monsters he knew as companions, dear friends.

_ he's like you _ , they whispered, cackled, hissed.  _ he's like you _ .

and he was.

one look at the boy, and the urge to leave overwhelmed him. he seemed fine. there was no need to interfere.

then again, the minute he turned away, he heard coughing. saw blood splattering the pristine snow. tears welling in the corners of deep blue eyes. the kid was ill.

the kid needed someone to take care of him.

and- he couldn't help but think of the time he found emil, living among the wilds, coughing, wheezing, and what seemed to be near death. he picked him up then, didn't he? didn't become the next norway, but turned to iceland. maybe things wouldn't be so bad.

he took the boy away, carried him away from the villages, away from the human population, until he could figure out what to do with him.

_ a child like you _ , the fairies whispered,  _ the fall approaches _ .

how he wished this was a mistake.

 

* * *

 

as the child grew, something didn't suit the situation.

growth was slow, but the brightness of the boy's mind revealed a sharpness, a keen sense of knowledge. he learned quickly in most aspects, and after two years, he never aged, though norway felt himself grow older.

he never expected this.

he really never expected this child to take a grasp to magic that potentially surpassed his own.

first, healing spells. whatever ailment leif had- it couldn't be cured, no matter how much he tried. each spell only did a small amount, a temporary fix, and it delayed the eventual collapse of internal organs. it was like a curse.

a curse he didn't know how to lift.

he began to take long trips, visiting other nations, learning of few new children arriving across the globe- though he only knew of denmark's after an unsuspecting visit. two of them. axel and laerke. the boy a near imitation of mathias.

_ don't say anything _ , mathias pleaded.  _ i'm not sure how to deal with it. _

lukas promised he wouldn't say a word, though he never told him of his own situation.

mathias mentioned some nannies would take care of his heirs, and they'd be in boarding school come fall, and it would be perfect since none of the other nations would know. he'd seem stronger than ever.

this was one of the few times lukas thought the man had a good idea.

 

* * *

 

not long after the accidental discovery of denmark's heirs, iceland announced his own- a little girl, njala. she already met each of greenland's girls, the only other well-known children from the nordics, and they were well received.

lukas's own fears prevented him from showing pride of his heir, especially toward his cursed state. he finally sent the boy to boarding schools across the nation, changing every two years from his lack of aging. families took him in, praised him for his intellect, and watched in awe at his magical abilities. lightning crackled from his palms, he could make displays for those that seemed to care for him, but- he rarely saw norway.

one of the few times after becoming banished to boarding school, he showed up- with a girl. an expression much like lukas, a build closer to healthy than sickly, and he said she was like him. like leif was. søsken.  _ siblings _ .

she called herself tordis, and she had magical potential. not nearly as great as leif or lukas, but she held it in the palm of her hand.

lukas told her about the curse, how leif heavily depended on magic to keep him alive, how she needed to protect him. the two needed to stay alive, in case the worst happened. whatever he meant by the worst- it was left hanging. he didn't want to explain anything to them. he's done enough, the bags under his eyes and shaking hands giving away everything.

he was  _ nervous _ . ridden with  _ anxiety _ . didn't sleep for weeks.

lukas was about to burn out altogether.

he couldn't do anything about the children now.  
  


* * *

 

 

ragnarok, that's what the other kids and teachers called it. the end of the word.

to leif, it was a near death experience.

heightened temperatures into the thirties reached the farthest north- svalbard- leaving fires in its wake. machines began to break. and the two-minute scorch of the world hardly went unnoticed.

the windows inside the home broke. blazing fire engulfed the doors. they couldn't escape, couldn't breathe, couldn't do anything- except rely on their magic.

leif shielded tordis from the fires, cast a charm to leave her resistant to the flames, and endured the inevitable pain, the burns that dug into his nerves. he could take it. he's taken enough as is.

if anyone were to survive, it best be her.

as the building began to collapse, his world went dark.

 

* * *

 

he didn't expect to see the light of day again. nor did he think he'd wake up from an eternal slumber.

for a while, he couldn't move, couldn't speak, couldn't do anything. as far as he could tell, tordis took care of him, all while mumbling the horrors spreading across the world. the people told her, she said, they told her about the fall. ragnarok. the fields of fire, earthquakes, volcanoes, hurricanes, everything that happens from natural disaster. those two moments were the mere tipping point.

they shouldn't be alive, not really. their nannies and teachers were gone, shriveled into ash and bone dust. the fellow students were all gone. only a few remained in the town, injured beyond belief.

_ people are dying, leif _ , she told him, sorrow trapped in her round and soft eyes.  _ they're dying, and i know you can help them. i can help, too, but i don't know all the spells. _ she pleaded, running her fingers through his hair.  _ please help me. _

_ i'll do what i can. _ he told her, writhing in the pain of second degree burns.

he taught her about specific spells, namely the ones for broken bones and burn marks, how to make their healing process accelerate, and so forth. he couldn't move from his place on the ground, destined to watch the sky through holes in the ceiling, wondering where all the stars vanished. no one visited him, no one tended to him besides tordis- he truly felt a lone place in this world.

as others got better, the weather worsened, and leif gained a fever quite unlike the normal ones.

it worsened his state of mind, sent images of the norwegian people, suffering, dying, everywhere else. he couldn't remain in this small town any longer, not when they seemed fine. the land was scarred, fjords melted, and floods all over the country left a narrow strip of land.

_ we're leaving. _

two months after the end, leif said it. though pain shone in his eyes, he forced himself up, burns leaving a greasy look over his arms and legs. they tried to heal the burns, though each time they tried, they returned to the same as before. no use in trying anymore, he told her. he could live with the discomfort. she had to be the healthier one, and it wouldn't happen if she fretted over his well being.

_ the fae mentioned south. we can't go north, it's flooded. not many survivors. _

tordis couldn't speak to the fae as well as he could. she had merely a fraction of his abilities, had to work twice as hard to learn, got frustrated so easily- but she was trying. lukas told her to take care of leif. that's all she was trying to do.

_ then we're going south. _

they didn't know about any other heir, any other child like them. isolated from the political affairs of their father's realm, this would prove more difficult with each passing day.

_ i'll need something to walk with. a cane, maybe. a strong branch. anything. _

without walking around for two months, his thin body couldn't hold itself. each step brought pain and agony, the fever never settled, and he appeared like death hung over his head. pale as a ghost. he looked horrible.

_ i can make it. all i need is your help. _

for a while now, they've acted like siblings. they taught each other new things. they knew when to back off and let the other cool down. but now- they needed to act like partners. if she helped him, he'd teach her other spells, other uses. he's been at it for a while, after all, and he learned from the best. the fae would help him, too- they always did. even before lukas found him. he always had the magical creatures.

within a week, the two set a course toward denmark, the site of destruction.

 

* * *

 

"we are camping here."

tordis called all the shots for when to rest and relax- if leif had anything to say, he'd force himself to move further. the midnight sun came early, the light hours extending farther than it should in winter, and finding different places to pitch camp was extremely difficult. the floods started retreating back to the sea, the endless fires finally put out.

the only dangers were scavengers, those that became thieves, and the dying. all of which were dangerous to the two kids. he hardly passed as a teen, and she wasn't more than a kid. sometimes, they wandered into ghost towns, and a few refugees would take them in for a few nights. there were tough calls, some rations stolen, though the two managed. they had to steal to survive. constantly on the run. using magic to solidify their escape.

two weeks passed since they first left, the weather changes affecting them more and more as the coastline came closer. denmark was close.

_ you're right, you're right, _ the fae chided, and every time he looked down at tordis, she didn't seem to notice them.  _ you're almost to denmark. then you'll meet them. you'll meet them _ .

who? who on this earth were they about to see? meet for the first time? all he got was  _ you'll see _ . 

wow, did he hate their messages. never helped him out any.

regardless- they camped in the midst of an open field, towns miles in either direction. leif made the fire, tordis gathered the blankets they took from a town a few days back, both returning to watch the embers dissolve into nothing.

he couldn't focus on anything, not even the stars, sleep, or anything. not with the pestering hum of even more fae surrounding them, watching him, anticipating. judging.

why were there more than usual? that made no sense. and-- the troll. wasn't it norway's?

_ why are you here? _ he pressed for information. the only time he could do it was when tordis fell into a deep slumber.  _ why can't she see you- any of you? why am i the only one that can? _

he got no response to his questions, as per the usual, though one thing did change: with the number of fae around them, the less he needed to make temporary healing from the curse. all that remained was the steady fever and occasional pains. he realized the latter were fallen citizens of norway the more it happened, but nothing added up otherwise.

_ they come! they come! _ all of a sudden, the fae grew jittery, excited, anxious- every high strung emotion he could think of. who? who comes?

regardless, the light of the fire drew whatever was coming- he had to put it out. voices sounded through the fields, the wide landscape meeting the rays of dawn. fire was no longer necessary for warmth- but-

"tordis.  _ get up _ ." he yelled, gritting teeth as he got to his feet, the pains of his insides threatening to collapse as he did. " someone's coming. "

a yawn signaled the amount of consciousness she had, though at his urgency, she, too, scrambled to a fighting stance. one thing he taught her was a blinding light that wouldn't affect the user, though temporarily blinded those that walked right into it. as for him- there was a different trick he held.

_ they're here, finally! _ the excited noises filled his head, which he bitterly hissed " shut up! "

that's the time the fighting started.

the air crackled in the tension, and before he knew it, the opponent swung their weapon down his left side, fraying little more than the jacket he wore. however- the grunt didn't go unnoticed. opponent was weak- had something wrong- he could-

" who are you. "

before he knew it, he threw the cane down, grabbed the enemy's shirt and jerked them downward. in his other hand, the crackle of electricity in a fist- easily zapping the intruder into stasis if he dared to leave his grasp-

" _ norway? _ "

his father's title- wait- how did he know who that was- no, no,  _ no _ .

leif never met this person before. never, never, and yet- the familiarity-

" _ denmark? _ "

he was told many times about mathias, a tall man with the brightest deposition around, eyes that electrify anyone, stop them in their steps. that's why lukas trusted him so much. trusted him with everything except leif and tordis.

still- leif didn't release him, the previously bewildered expression hardening into disbelief. " you can't be. he's _ dead. _ " this is where his breathing grew ragged. " norway's dead, too. he can't be alive. "

" that's why we're trying to find out- " the whimpering only now sounded in his ears, and the fact sunk in: he was  _ scaring _ this guy. this exhilarating emotion- caused by him, of all people- started scaring him, too.

" then why did you suddenly attack us? started resulting to killing and continuing? " a sneer, step forward, only a hair's breadth between them. " not very smart. "

hardly acknowledging the brilliant flash- tordis finally got it right, thank god- the shakiness faded, and for the first time in a while- he felt controlling. no longer needing protection. no longer a weakling.

" who are you, then. you're not- " just as he was about to say  _ denmark _ , he collapsed, a blossom of agony burst in his head. the electricity vanished, grip loosened, and the second his head hit the ground, he blacked out.

darkness surrounded him once more.

 

* * *

 

 

returning to the reality of the situation, he expected tordis's face.

not the guy he almost maimed last night.

though- taking a look at him again- there was no doubt this was one of denmark's heirs. looked just like him. but- how was he to know what the nation looked like? and.. didn't he say he was dead? how would he know that?

" _ you. _ " a deep cough shook him, and slowly did he get into sitting upright, eyes narrowed from grogginess. " why are you still here? "

he didn't say anything at first, and truthfully, he was frightened.

" you went out like a light. 'specially after all those threats. it freaked us all out. "

confusion crossed his face- all? then- tordis saw him. even she wouldn't look his way, but she seemed to be chatting softly with another girl. the other heir, maybe. his heart sunk- did he cause that much damage?

" i don't remember what happened. i don't remember what i said. " he admitted, looking at the earth below. " but- who are you, really? "

" axel. "

axel. there were no names like that from what he recalled. he truthfully never met this person.

" leif. "

a pause. 

" norway was my father. mine and tordis's. i'm guessing denmark was yours. "

he didn't expect the chortle, followed by axel running a hand through his relatively greasy hair. " yeah, you're right. not that we saw him much. "

" neither did we. " which was a partial lie- the first three or four years of his existence, norway took care of him. tried to get the illness under control. it never worked. 

still, nothing made too much sense. the one thing he did remember-

" why did you call me norway? "

this did get his attention, and for the first time, he looked back at leif, though he wasn't sure if that look was comforting. " _ i _ really don't know. you look like him- we saw him, once. but. " he pursed his lips, and the question was ever so obvious. " i'm wondering why you called me denmark, too. he never spoke about knowing others like us. i don't believe you've met him, either. "

he wasn't wrong. leif never met the nation, but the tug in the back of his mind, it clicked the familiarity. what was wrong with him?

" you also said they were dead- we thought they were, but weren't sure- you sounded so certain. "

that one he couldn't explain either.

" i'm.. sorry. i don't know why i said that. either of those. " he took a deep breath, slowly getting to his feet. " something happened last night. i've never been like that before. it's usually a struggle to even walk far distances. " basically- something was wrong with him. " i've had something wrong- a curse of sorts- that caused my health to deteriorate over time. norway helped with temporary fixes, so i'm.. relatively good at fixing health issues. "

this seemed to gather further attention from the boy, and now he stared at leif, biting his lip intensely. " _ c _ an you fix my shoulder? i wrenched it out of the socket a few weeks ago, hurts like hell. "

well, that made more sense as to why the weapon originally missed its mark. now that he looked around- it seemed to be an axe of sorts. definitely denmark's kid.

" as long as you don't turn around and kill me. " a demand of sorts, though it appeared axel was fully on board with this compromise. truly didn't think about if he was lying or not. then again- how could he reject leif having magic after last night?

" i swear. " he turned, having his left shoulder face him, closing his eyes and thinking of a prayer- but to who? whatever.

for a moment, leif closed his eyes, maintaining a steady breath-in, breath-out routine, and reached forward, placing his hand on the dislocated area. he heard the shudder, felt the pain through the flinch, and allowed the spell to do what it needed. for a few seconds, the faint glow intensified until burning out completely- and that was about all he could do. he immediately jerked his hand back, showing he was  _ done _ .

" there, that's all i can do. " he stated bitterly, his attention now drawn over to tordis. " we need to keep going. oslo's still a few days away. " oslo, the capital. he needed to see if it collapsed, too.

" we just came from there. it's underwater. " axel spoke up, his eyes narrowed and regretful. " everything's underwater, destroyed, or burnt. we came up here to.. find others. " find them, specifically. the fae were right.

they needed to run into denmark's heirs.

" we haven't seen any others. " tordis picked up the conversation, eyeing both of the guys with wariness. " we were heading south since the north's underwater. everything's ruined. "

" she's right. mainland europe might be safer than here. " leif admitted, though he quirked an eyebrow at axel with a slightly amused expression. " your shoulder good? "

the reaction worked in his favor, puzzlement and sudden realization- right. " yeah! nothing wrong with it now. " his grin went from ear to ear, and leif couldn't help smirking. of course it worked for everyone else.

he wouldn't let anyone see the pain in his face when he moved his own arm.

 

* * *

after a few rounds of debating, the four of them- the girl, laerke, included- decided it would be best to return to the mainland of europe. more stragglers should come to light, and the possibility of finding the nations could be higher. could. the thought of both norway and denmark being dead still shook their minds, and none of them wanted to bring up the original brawl. 

it was clear leif's volatile tendencies were tied to emotions, and axel claimed he could take on the protective role for them. after all, he was strong enough, and had a weapon dealing a good amount of damage to those standing in their way. 

all they had to do was get to europe. find more like them. band together, make it through.

it didn't help with the uneasiness directed toward him, though. he could very well tell they wouldn't trust him, and tordis rarely looked over at him. becoming an outcast, left aside for the pickings. 

maybe this wasn't a grand idea after all.

instead, his thoughts went to the fae, the only ones that haven't left him stranded. they gave comfort, kept him going- which seemed to assist greatly, as none of them suggested camping for the night until the last spark of the sun vanished.

even if he remained physically unhealthy in most aspects, there was one thing not working itself up: his insides. the ache of transferring axel's shoulder pain to him dulled, the fever ceased, and he exhorted more energy than he had in a long time.

as per the usual, leif lit the fire, tordis held the blankets, and the other two waited- trying to figure out what exactly they could accomplish.

" don't worry about it, " tordis explained the nightly routine- how it seemed his magic kept him stable.

" dependence, tordis. it's dependence. " he stated dryly, snapping a ball of flame into existence. " can't live without it. "

while they didn't want to speak up, an irritated  _ tch _ from lærke set her for a speech. " that's what's bothering me. you don't seem to think about the consequences or benefits of it. don't you have that curse or whatever? why haven't you tried breaking it? "

breaking it? " how so? "

" ugh, you boys are so stupid. here, i'll tell you. " getting onto her feet, she took the few steps toward leif and crouched, making strict eye contact with a frown. " fairytales sometimes say a curse can only be lifted by the inflicted. beauty and the beast is a pretty great example. prince becomes a beast from a curse, and true love broke it. not that i'm saying love's the answer here. " she snorted, then shrugged nonchalantly. " think about it. it might be so much easier than you thought. "

from there, she left, heading back over toward tordis and sitting beside her, pulling her blanket over the two of them and urging for rest.

that left the boys to blink and wonder what she went on about- at least, until axel spoke.

" no matter how strange that sounds, she might be right. have you tried working on it yourself? " his plain concerned expression showed little mercy.

" honestly? no. norway tried, so he came up with temporary fixes so i'm not coughing blood all the time. nothing cured. " he looked to the side, off in the distance.

" well, there's something i should say. " as the danish heir took in a deep breath, he scooted a bit closer, potentially so he didn't disrupt the girls in any way. " _ t _ he night we tried attacking you- tordis said something about you looking the strongest you've ever been. that you might've stood standing and maybe kill me if you could. " he paused, narrowing his eyes as they stared into the side of his face. " maybe that's the whole thing. magic's a key component of keeping you alive, and the minute the curse or whatever is broken, you lose it, too. "

alarm set in. leif started panicking- if that were true- had he not done enough? is that why he remained as ill as ever? still-

" how did i stop, then? if it kept me going, then, why- "

" i don't know. " he admitted, rubbing the back of his head. " you started saying i wasn't denmark. really, really intensely. "

he blinked, frowned, then turned toward axel. " i don't remember that. " a sigh. of course he didn't remember. but, with such a strange thing to say, maybe- " axel? do you think- " he stopped, the words on his tongue but his thoughts not keeping up. " nevermind. "

he didn't press on, knowing it was probably futile in doing so. instead, letting out a rather loud yawn to change the subject toward rest did the trick- though leif did raise an eyebrow as he attempted to snatch the blanket.

"you know we only have two of those, right? and it's mine?" chiding the guy did help him move on from the rather serious conversation. plus- axel looked like he was ready to play this game.

" can't you make one appear from thin air? "

" nah, that'd break some exchange laws. can't get something for nothing. " once he said that, though- an error was made, and the other caught it.

" wait a second- is that why you have shoulder pain? don't deny it- i've seen you grimace when you bumped into someone. " he almost looked furious, though it immediately changed to concern. " is your shoulder dislocated, now? "

" what? no, of course not. " as if to prove a point, leif raised his arm straight up, muttering a soft  _ ow _ before slowly bringing it back down. " _ i _ t's a minor discomfort. it'll go away in another day or so. i've healed worse, especially the burns. " he couldn't deny the second degree burns that littered his arms and legs, how they never healed properly and retained the scabs that should have healed more by now. " with so many people dying from them, i had to do something. "

from there- axel's expression changed again. something he never saw-  _ admiration _ . " i get that. i wanted to help everyone i could, but- i had no idea how. i still don't. laerke didn't want to leave. i knew we had to- we had to find someone else. "

it was exactly how leif felt. even with the town needing them- needing tordis- he was drawn toward leaving. finding others. he didn't care who the others were.

" well, that might be something for another night. we should get some rest. " eyeing the fire, he swept a hand over it, silencing the flames with a tiny grin. " and because i'm so selfless, we'll share the blanket. deal? "

" fair enough. "

" and. if you try stealing it, i'll set you on fire. " a joke. he emphasized this by lightly jabbing axel's arm. " _ kidding.  _ probably. "

" absolutely terrified. " from the punch, he flopped onto his side rather dramatically, unable to halt laughing like a complete idiot. and, for a few seconds, leif couldn't help snorting at these antics. in a moment, the two laid side by side, eyes up toward the ash grey sky, a meager amount of warmth offered by the blanket.

soon enough, axel fell into a deep slumber, one that even he couldn't wake him up from, while leif couldn't do it. closing his eyes was enough.

_ what if he wasn't really cursed? what if he needed the dependency to survive?  _

_ what if.. norway knew it all this time?  _

 

* * *

 

 

" do you think you can teach any magic to us? "

a couple days after the rather unsettling discussion they held, and perhaps another day or so to oslo, the inevitable question came to light. the way axel looked over at him, almost pleading with those bright eyes of his, it was near impossible to deny at least a trial run. he didn't want to outright reject the request, but- he sensed no magic potential from either of them.

" i'll try. " that's about all he promised.

showing them something basic, and if it didn't work- well, time to move on.

he started with healing- a simple one, for the most part. patching up a narrow cut from a knife. a bit of blood, and it was something tordis could do if they couldn't.

(leif still had no idea how to completely heal himself. it probably wasn't possible.)

instructing ended up more difficult than he thought, ( _ spells aren't commonly spoken. i know them- but i don't say them, not anymore. _ ) and after a while of attempting from both axel and lærke, it was about time to give up. nothing changed, the slice remained with clotted blood, and it left both of them dejected.

" at least you tried, that's more than some people, " he told them, trying his best to smile at them in reassurance.

they didn't bother trying again.

 

* * *

 

 

by the time oslo drew into their sights, the dawn rose and shed light on the grey skies, catching bits of ash as it drifted to the ground. every so often, they'd break and observe the surroundings, the myriad of color in the clouds, the carnage of the floods staring back at them.

bit by bit, the country began to heal. and leif felt it, more than he'd ever admit.

boats remained tied to posts and harbors the further south they walked, some of the citizens living in them. it made sense- houses collapsed, buildings became shells of their former glory. the capital stood in ruin- though, life flourished.

they had a run-in with a few thieves, easily scared off by the boys revealing their own ability. ( _ axel held his strength, leif wielded magic unlike anything they've seen  _ ) they scavenged what food and water they could use, stocking up for the potential death march into danish land.

(  _ axel told him- it's so much worse in denmark than norway. sweden was about the same as norway. they didn't find any heirs there, either. _ )

the dead, the charred, the dying- they laid across the ground, covered in ash, looted- some eaten- and so much more. he didn't want to see it- none of them did- but they had to keep moving. turn a blind eye to the disaster.

get to the mainland, that's what they agreed on. get to the mainland, they thought as they lifted a charred body from a boat, laying it in the water below.  _ get to the mainland _ .

four people to a rather small boat proved difficult, and while rowing away from the dock seemed simple enough, the guys grew tired- quickly. leif more than axel, though physical labor never did bode well for the ill boy.

though- that did give him an idea.

for a moment, he stared at the sky, a hand hovering over his heart- a sharp breath- then a snap. the air pressure significantly changed, thinning as if they gained altitude, though the gusts starting behind them were directed into the water below, the currents strengthening along with the wind.

however- such a sudden increase in speed wouldn't go unnoticed, as the rest of the group eyed him. almost as though he should've given a word of warning.

" this'll be faster. " he explained, seemly rather confident about it. " give it a few hours. "

from the swift current, they ended up making it to land before dark settled around them.

 

* * *

 

 

like they said, whatever remained of denmark burned to ashes.

the location where the world began to end, the boom causing the world to drop to its knees, the floods, earthquakes- it all began here.

signs of survival remained scarce, the damp peat beneath their feet completely and utterly disgusting, though every few kilometers, the signs of grass poked through. life was returning. living would be possible, but- for now-

" we continue south. "

the group agreed on the terms- they had no reason to remain here, not when the threat of other scavengers and thieves pressed forward, and they already knew their parent nations didn't survive.

(  _ leif already said it. axel and laerke knew it, too- they felt their cultures suffer drastically. _ )

still, they spent a week in the land, traveling slow and taking from others when they needed to. of course, they could live longer on starvation and dehydration, but stockpiling for the potential of it getting so much worse was required. besides- they've been ransacked and overwhelmed a few times already.

at the very least, they were able to obtain fresh water.

(  _ he demonstrated how he was able to do it- it was like the fire. you can't make something from nothing, but you could repurpose it. oxygen and hydrogen atoms would be removed, rebond, and create pure water. it required a strong sense of focus. some magic needed stricter focus than others. it was second nature to him _ . )

the dawn of the eighth day led to- a rather unexpected encounter.

usually, the fae warned leif about the approaching masses, and they would fend off advances, though they said nothing to him. only the nudge of a rodent-like being alerted him there was something amiss. not normal, not- human.

“ hello? are you all okay? ” a girl, though the pitch indicated one older than tordis or lærke, called out from mere meters away. something about her seemed off- as though she knew something, and that would destroy them all.

as the girls and axel started waking, leif already got to his feet, taking a protective stance between them and this young lady, a fist formed in front of him. the soft crackle of lightning showed little in terms of how merciful he would be.

“ state your business and go. ” curtly spoken, he stepped forward- she did the same, though instead of frightened- her eyes lit up, as though-

“ oh, thank god, it felt about time i find another magician! ”

the electricity immediately vanished, as did the facade of trying to intimidate. this girl- no, she couldn’t-

“ the fae- they didn’t warn me. was this your doing? ” the one to alert him wasn’t one he saw before, either.

“ i believe they followed me for a while, leading me straight to you. ” the astonished voice was enough to fool him into a bitter reluctance. this meant she was a heir, if she weren’t scared stiff like the other bandits were.

“ where- did you come from? ” norway never told him about other heirs, let alone other nations, or ones with magical abilities. how long had he been in the dark?

“ england. ” she said this with a pompous attitude, as though it were only the best place to be. “ i arrived in denmark to see if anyone lived, but, well- i became horribly lost. ” by this point, he could sense axel’s presence by his side, as well as notice the girl’s eyes flicker in interest. “ you see, i wandered on my own for weeks, maybe a month by now. i haven’t much information besides more carnage in the west. ” she sighed, and already, he knew she was faking. he knew what it looked like.

“ well, look no further, miss! ” axel’s smile stretched from ear to ear, resting an arm across leif’s shoulders. “ we’ll take you in. the more the merrier, as they say! ”

when did he get a say in this? shooting a rather sharp glare at axel, he shrugged the affectionate gesture away, attention solely on this girl. “ england was a magic user, then. i’m right to assume you as well? ”

“ call me elizabeth, ” she stated, holding out a hand. “ i don’t do too much, truth be told. i tend to the fae, and do some other magic here and there. spells, mostly. ” and that’s where she looked about ready to boast further about it. “ want to see? ”

“ _ of course! _ ” the enthusiasm shocked leif, who watched as axel took her hand and tugged her over toward the other girls, both staring with a shine in their eyes. horror rested in his gaze, then he had to turn away, away from the horrid display, the cheer, all of it.

_ why didn’t you warn me of this? _   he looked to the fae, the ones that started to gather around him once again, regret in their eyes.

_ they needed a light, a positive heart, _ they chimed, one drifting forward to rest on his shoulder.  _ you would have done worse had we told you. _

_ you don’t know that- _ did they? was there a time they wanted to prevent?

_ this is for the betterment of them. _ they sighed, and he glanced back. bright, shining faces at the runes she created, speaking as if she memorized them from a book, but not to the point of knowing it internally.

for the betterment of them. he should have known. even he knew there would always be a light for every dark- but, did this mean-

_ you almost killed him, _ the fae reminded, a sad tone to their voices. _they_ _ need something else to pull them from the shadows. _

the- shadows. him. to the fae, he was the evil one, the one who shouldn’t exist. but- it made no sense. why did they act-

finally, finally, he looked back at elizabeth. saw it in her eyes.

she controlled the fae.

 

* * *

 

 

he saw through her act, the cute display, heart of gold, everything. the way his friends truly acted- they would never call him the dark part of magic. right?

.. right?

elizabeth stuck to their group like glue, eagerly babbling of all the spells she knew and how she managed to make it this far on her own. they all swallowed it up, bright eyes of interest as she hashed her tales. once, she had one of the fae reveal themself to them- and even he could sense the pain from them.

the fae went away for a few days after, and as they traveled to germany, it appeared clear of how much of a leech she could be.

tordis asked her for help on finalizing a spell, to which elizabeth laughed- “ _ your brother never showed you? _ ”- and proceeded with showing her. though, tordis never did get it right, the illusion of it working was obvious. she set it up, so even if the little girl failed, it appeared as a success.

this didn’t help him in any light. every time he eavesdropped on her conversations- namely with the girls- his name would be used in a criticizing manner.

after a few more nights, she stuck close to axel, chatting up a storm with smiles all around- it made him sick. to see everyone else happy and in good spirits. to see his only family and friend turn against him.

he had to get out of there.

 

* * *

 

 

the day after venturing over the german border, they settled for the night, the girls together with their sleeping bags (  _ elizabeth’s the greatest! she changed the ratty blanket into a bag! _ ) and axel sound asleep, the loud snores something he was far used to hearing.

struck by insomnia. it tended to happen more than he wanted. he was used to it by now, using his abilities to fake it until he couldn’t run any longer. four days was his breaking point. tonight was the third.

the light of the fire dimmed to mere cinders- and that’s when he finally stood. he took one of the canteens, a staple from when they first set out, what seemed like ages ago, along with the jacket that tattered at the sleeves.

without looking behind him- he left.

he kept walking for what seemed to be hours without stopping- the crack of dawn poking from behind the clouds- before finally collapsing in a heap. dust caught in his lungs, as well as his eyes- but the tears wouldn’t cease.

of course he didn’t know what he was doing. not once on the journey did he take it alone- he had his sister, but even now, there was no hope of gaining her back. none of them.

(  _ earlier that day- elizabeth tripped. axel caught her, looked at her with worry. she stared at him, smiled so softly, and knew she had him wrapped around her finger. _ )

the threat of a looming darkness around his conscious kept him awake- he didn’t need to drift off now, not with such little ground between them, and he knew he had to get up. try something else.

he tried to call the fae, but only one dared to appear, the rodent with a body of cotton, eyes buttoned and attentive. the only one that seemed to care about him now. the only one she couldn’t control.

_ i don’t know what i can do. _ slowly, slowly, he reached a position where he could see the sky once again.  _ i lost them. i can’t say anything, do anything- i lost. _

the rodent dug into his shirt, and it did all it could. showing comfort. listening to his sobs.

_ i can throw their trail off another day, _ the fae hummed, as if it would help.  _ they’re looking for you. they care. you haven’t lost them. _

he couldn’t believe that.

_ tell them how you feel. tell them the truth. _

he couldn’t do that.

_ you’re so much stronger than you were before. use it. show to them. _

“ i’d rather die . ”

the choked sobs died off until nothing remained but a hoarse voice.

“ i never knew how to express emotions well. i never knew how strong they were. ” he started coughing at this point, and when he covered his hand, the blood began to splatter. “ i’m thoroughly cursed to live without knowing when i’ll die. ”

the rodent crooned, resting further into his shoulder. comfort. softness.

his distress sent his nerves in a frenzy, and within a minute, he couldn’t stop shaking. “ please, tell me. please. why am i cursed? i haven’t done anything wrong. ” another cough, more blood. more splatter, more pain.

_ you aren’t cursed by anyone but yourself. _ though its words were light, almost airy and innocent, they held something heavy.

he wasn’t cursed by anyone but himself.

himself.

he really did set this on himself. all of it. it was why norway could never lift it. none of the fae tried to. he couldn’t heal fully.

he was bound to pain only he created. honing high potential, an affinity for the strongest magic, only he could-

no, no, no. he didn’t believe it. none of it.

his lungs gasped for air, leading to heaving bile and blood on the dirt. he couldn’t think of it, not now, not-

the shadows threatened his thoughts once more, and this time, he was more than willing to let it take him.

collapsing by the stench of illness, the cotton fae floated up and onto his head, nestling into his hair with a whine. 

by the time he woke up, the fae knew he wasn’t about to remain complacent any longer.

 

* * *

 

 

he woke to the steady shoves on his arm, though the atmosphere seemed different-

" oh, you're awake. " disinterest crossed the feminine voice, as did disappointment. " now i can't steal your shit. "

slowly, he rolled onto his back, blinking up at the arrival with crossed eyes- blurred vision, wake up, get focused- and this certainly wasn't someone he met before.

" you're norway's kid, aren't you? " she stated, her mouth formed into a line- thinking, considering, a course of action. " lemme guess, you do the whole magic thing, too? seemed like it's a european thing. " a chuckle. " well, besides me, of course. but mine isn't that grand. "

besides her? she caught his confusion, leaning back and keeping her hands on the earth. " _ i _ 'm from across the atlantic. got on the first working ship back over here. greenland was flooded, no more ice for a while. " humming. contemplation. " not much better over here. but that's fine. i'm looking for someone, anyway. "

as she spoke, he gathered his wits, steadily picking up the pieces from what seemed to be blabbering. except- it wasn't. all of it was key information he should be taking in. " are you alone? "

" for the most part, yeah. " a hand motion, shrug, looking across the horizon. " i found someone for a little while, but then i kept going without her. like i said- i'm looking for someone. not just anyone. "

her, another girl. " who? "

at this, she smirked, gaze off to the distance- eyes lighting up suddenly, as though she saw someone in the vicinity- even though he didn't see a thing. for a moment, her attention was trained on something he couldn't distinguish, though it soon returned to him. " r omania's heir. luca. we send messages through the _taqriaqsuit_. as far as we know- we're the only ones that can see them. " a sigh. " he only knows them because i allowed him to know. it's how we were able to talk when the end happened- and a bit before then, too. "

taqriaqsuit? the word meant little to him, though it sounded familiar to the fae he could sense.

" they also help keep us alive. this world is connected to theirs, in a sense. " she continued, starting to get to her feet, slugging a sack over her shoulder. " but- anyway. luca just hit the edge of hungary. i'm meeting him in zurich. " switzerland. " i need to keep going. it's a long way through germany. good to meet you, i suppose. "

after the lengthy amount of information, he still held questions in the back of his throat- but he couldn't speak. all he could do was watch her go on, never glancing back or saying a name.

still- he couldn't help but figure out she knew so much more than he ever would.

 

* * *

 

 

after a while of staring into the horizon, leif knew he had to keep moving.

if anything, the strange girl took nothing from him, leaving the canteen alone and still about half-full.  _ she didn't want to take anything to begin with. all she wanted was information. _

and he gave her nothing- or maybe everything. even he couldn't determine what truly went on during that conversation.

it did give him the confirmation he needed: other heirs held magic. this girl, who mentioned greenland (possibly her home), the romanian heir, luca- elizabeth. tordis. himself.  _ who else? _ there was no possible way that was it. the rest- he never met. may never meet. not if he dies out in the wild.

_ you won't die, not unless you use magic _ . the cotton mouse never left his side, even with the girl appearing. apparently, she couldn't see it anyway- different cultures held different rules for otherworldly beings. not sure if he could believe it, though it could make sense.

" what if i don't, then? "

_ you really don't know your own potential. _ a soft sigh escaped from the fae, nestling its head into his collar bone.  _ i already told you. you're not cursed by anyone but yourself. do you know what happens when too much electricity runs through a machine? _

" it malfunctions. " he said it so simply, so bluntly. " it breaks. shuts down. "

_ the same happens with magic. _ lifting its head, the button-like eyes stared up into his own.  _ you were never cursed- it's a blessing. your potential holds a direct link to your health, and when it's released, you regain strength. _ a soft yawn, followed by a nudge to his chin.  _ you might be highly dependent on using it, but believe me, you have an ability unlike many others. norway, england, even romania- they weren't as strong as you. _

that was a lie. all three were the best nations for magic- he didn't surpass them, especially as a mere child.

" i'm not like them. " dread clung to his voice, beginning to waver as his throat started to close. " i don't want to hurt anyone. "

_ and you've taken the pain away from them if you did. _ the fae trilled, rubbing its head against his neck.  _ you were taught little control, or how to release emotions. isolated for years. _ it sighed, now aware its words weren't reaching him very well.  _ go back to them. they really need you, they do. _

" i don't know what direction i went. " the realization. how he never knew where he was heading. did he go back north? south? toward france? berlin?

_ you went toward france, and they're on the same trail. _ helpful and hopeful, the rodent climbed to his head and pointed toward the east.  _ go back. or wait here. they're a few hours out. _ a pause, twitching its whiskers with an idea.  _ try getting rid of the excess energy. when you had all the others around, the fae sapped enough to keep you healthy. _

" it still makes little sense, but- i'll try. " anything for them. anything to keep him alive. " anything works? "

a nod, followed by the swift sound of snoozing. talking too much tired the poor thing out.

well. it was worth a shot.

observing the area around him, signs of life seemed sparse, as though it never existed. the ground, cracked and dried, held few grasses here and there, wilting and growing beige as the sun passed overhead. he wasn't a nature-specific magician, though it wouldn't hurt to try.

kneeling down on the crusted earth, hands resting over the cracks- focus. conjure the image of new sprouts just beneath the surface. emphasize their importance. and--

the glow. the signal of renewal. life.  _ life. _ he was actually bringing life to the death- or, at the least, accelerating it. within a moment it faded, the ground soft, the sprouts of grass moderately poking beyond the topsoil. it worked, it worked.

_ you're more of a science type. _ as soon as it was done, the cotton fae roused from the quickest nap he could record.  _ one with logic over emotion. that's how you can do it. _

" what do you mean? " he asked, reaching to the rodent and plucking it from his hair.

_ it isn't like you create something from nothing. you never followed that rule. _ a yawn, followed with a croon. this thing certainly enjoyed the attention.  _ you're moving atoms, concentrating on the foundations. helping it move along. _

then, the earth would have healed over time. of course it would, he saw it naturally while still in norway. all he did was speed the process- which, that alone was a miracle.

" healing and elements are the same. the only thing i can't do is- something i wouldn't want to. " summon. bring forward something that didn't previously exist. reach into the shadows and not know what comes out.

_ that's right, _ the fae hummed, sinking further into his soft grasp.  _ now- they're coming. if you pretend to pass out, they might hold pity and not be so mad! _

what? they were mad? well- he could understand that. walking out and pushing back the time for travel were one thing. doing so without warning was another.

" i need to face them, not wimp out. besides, i don't feel nearly as fragile. " a smile, then he held the cotton mouse close to his chest. " thank you for everything. "

_ don't think i'm going to leave you for dead! i'm done with that girl. never treated me well. _

then- maybe it was time to get the rest of the fae back.

 

* * *

 

 

he expected the entire mob to come out to confront him.

not axel, not on his own.

_ i thought you said they were coming, _ he scolded the rodent, who gave a shrug in return.

_ the rest are still nearby, _ it explained.  _ i can sense them. he must've ran ahead. _

for what reason, though? he didn't have the time to ask- footsteps turned harsh against the ground, and he could hear running, the relief- and other emotions- clear in his eyes. he didn't slow down, and instead- arms extended, he took no hesitation in tackling leif to the ground, dust flying up and settling back around them.

" you're alive, thank god, oh, thank _ god _ ." the babbling, along with the sting of tears, completely confused him. " l iza kept saying bandits took you and there was no way you'd live, but she was wrong, so, so wrong. "

liza? oh. elizabeth. his muscle visibly stiffened against the other's hold, but- maybe-

" don't be an idiot. it takes more than a couple of bandits to bring me down. " maybe that would be a better cover story than completely leaving. take a walk, get kidnapped by roamers, scare them with fire or electricity, and feign being lost. it didn't explain the encounter with the one girl, though.

" of course not! " he exclaimed, recoiling at the abruptness of his words and, in turn, releasing the embrace in a huff. amusement crossed leif's face, steadily getting into a sitting form (paused once, the impact did end up hurting far more than he'd expect).

" listen to me for a second. " eyes flickered to the horizon- no sign of the girls yet, but, there may not be much time. " i ended up.. finding out more on this unexpected trip than i thought. hear me out? " maybe, just maybe- axel's gaze focused on him. got his attention, at least.

" elizabeth isn't as kind and sweet as you know. " he paused, his focus drifting to the only fae to stick around for as long as it did. " _ s _ he controls fae. but not every type. i ran into someone- i think the greenland heir- and she mentioned another girl with magic. " deep breath. " and the only fae that stuck around me used to be elizabeth's, i believe. it freed itself from her influence to help me. "

cotton mouse crooned happily at its introduction, and while he didn't realize it at first- axel's eyes widened, brought a hand up and directly pointed at the soft looking fae.  _ you're showing him your existence? _

_ i have to, and besides, it's my choice! _ the light and airy tone sounded louder than before- and now, it was broadcast to the other, still shocked into relative silence.  _ listen! he's telling the truth! none of his other friends would help him, and he's treated me a great deal nicer than elizabeth ever did. _ a rather uncharacteristic huff, it flitted about in zig-zags, maybe to let off any rage it held up.

" okay, uh. how am i seeing and hearing this thing? " his lip quivered, ever so slightly, voice shaking in- not understanding. " l iza said they wouldn't talk to others. "

_ what a liar! we have our own souls, you know! _ the rodent huffed and puffed, though realizing the tizzy it was in, settling down on leif's shoulder once more assisted in calming it down.  _ she's been controlling us ever since she first figured it out. for a while- she was the strongest magic user we knew. until i saw leif, anyway! _ all of a sudden, it trilled sharply, pleasantly enjoying the praise it spewed.  _ i broke out of her grasp and could finally see what she was doing. messing with your minds and turn against him! _

" it's pretty harsh hearing someone talk about you in a degrading manner, " leif added, lowering his gaze toward the earth. " and- there were no bandits. i ran out on my own accord. running from my own emotions i couldn't control. "

_ while that might be true, you discovered many other things! like how you're not cursed! _ cotton mouse chirped, an immediate reaction coming from axel- bright eyed and hopeful.

" you're not cursed? then what's the deal? "

a gulp of dry, dry air. " you had the right idea. my health is directly connected to my magic potential, and if i don't use it a certain amount, it overwhelms my body. blackouts, internal organ damage, anything. " a sigh. " i'm like a machine using too much electricity. i can't store it, or i'll malfunction. "

for a moment, they stared each other down in silence, meeting an uncomfortable contact until axel finally broke it, moving forward and wrapping his arms around him once more, burying his face in leif's shoulder. " don't leave again. please don't. i'll listen to whatever you have to say, just- don't go off on your own. "

don't go off, don't leave. the underlying tone of  _ don't leave him _ .

" i won't. not again. " he swore, tears biting at his eyes.

(  _ he never wanted to see axel cry, never again. _ )


End file.
